He pretended that he was in there, and it worked. He gazed at the horizon.
Even though she could have realized what was happening, she didn't want to. She preferred not to look at him. That is the way it had happened many times. What if he decides to confess her what he really feels? She does not want to know anything, but his existence. “Is it enough?”, she has often wondered herself. While he was following all the movements of that man, she was thinking that her fiancé was just confused, certainly. In St. James Park, the scene: nobody around, they were sitting down after training. He was still absent. The routine that he is used to: jogging and boxing, everyday. That time it was not a boxing mate, she indeed noticed it. This time it must have been true, and she immediately thought about her age, and she said to herself: “I am still young. What if I give it up?” That moment lasted a few minutes, but it seemed a very long time. He was still somewhere else. She perfectly knew what he was thinking about. Suddenly, he said: “Wait, I’ll be back in a minute”. She noticed he was a little nervous, but she did not ask him anything at all. It was the same story. Instead of complaining, she decided to think about their future wedding. “Things are going to change, times are going to be better”, she thought. She got her makeup and painted her eyes that were already wet. Matthew took a long time, and when he got back, everything turned into a common day.
Iván Islas.
June 12th, 2008.
Illustration: Bird On The Wire/ Mari Mitsumi
4 comments:
It is so sad, and it is so true some times. What should someone do? Keep going, or give it up?
To confuse dreams, hopes and expectations with a misleaded belief or a simple wishful thinking, it is just the beginning of many tiring hours full with pain and fear...
I wonder if it is worthy to trust our instinct when the right thing to do, lead us to plain suffering.
Truth might be freedom... but not necesarily happiness.
Although this is about an specific situation, in which is involved a man and a woman, this short story is about those decisions of any being in which we deny ourselves. Dear Ileana, you said it perfectly: "it is just the beginning of many tiring hours full with pain and fear...". I love your interpretation and the way you close your comment. It is not clear, indeed. How could we know if we're taking the right decision. I think this character (the woman) is so emblematic of our society. I was thinking about another title for this short story. I was going to call it "Is it enough?", but at the end, I thought it was better to use those words of the closing. The end of the story reveals that the event that I describe was provoked because they were accomplice for their unsatisfied life. They want to keep hiding what they know perfectly.
Thanks for your comments dear friend.
Sr. Islas, tarda usted mucho en reaparecer, pero siempre deja buen sabor de boca. (Le escribiría el comentario en inglés para no desentonar, pero no me veo tan suelta ;D. Sabrá usted disculparme).
Mua.
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